italys-underpants:

italys-underpants:

So my sister and mum were talking about periods and my dad said, “I don’t need to worry when my period is because penises don’t bleed.” I instantly responded, “They do if you cut them off.”
I have never seen my mum laugh that hard at anything in my life.

Okay who brought it back.

(Source: aphswiss)

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asian:

me: I got shot 4 times

school nurse: lmao just put ice on it

145,345 notes

carypm:

dragqueenmerlin:

Just received my size 50 knitting needles in the mail, and I’m pretty sure these are weapons, not craft making tools

image

The cat’s face

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